Zack and Miri Make a (Bad) Porno

We all know Kevin Smith likes to look himself up on the internet. His geek-critics then come in for some stick in his movies. Here's a quote that Kevin should be able to understand: "Zack and Miri Make a Porno is f****** lowest denominator sh*te. It's predictable, poorly plotted, badly scripted, and features several painfully life-changing shots of Jason Mewes' ass, cock and balls. Please cut off my penis, boil my balls, and saute the whole thing before force-feeding it to me with a nice glass of jizz-shake and a handful of salty nuts rather than make me watch this complete waste of life minutes again."

Okay, that’s an over-exaggeration but it gives you an idea of where this film is coming from. It’s made for a very specific audience, and it’s certainly not in the same mould as the director’s more restrained effort “Jersey Girl”. Here Zack and Miri are two friends who live together in an apartment that has just had its power and water cut off because they failed to pay the bills. Meeting a couple of gay porn actors (as you do) at a just-so-convenient high school shindig (one of which is Justin Long in a brilliant cameo), the two happen upon the idea of shagging each other on camera to make money.

Ultimately, the film is about two close friends the audience know are made for each other but who have failed to cotton on to the idea themselves. It’s obvious from the get-go so the story relies on its characters and the comedy to keep you from twenty winks. And at times the film is funny – in a crude, nonsensical way. But you can’t really like these characters too much because they are so dumb. They are broke yet spend money on an overtly elaborate porn film with sets, costumes, and lighting. With perennial dick-stroker Zack (Seth Rogan), whose knowledge of current sex industry trends includes the purchase of the ‘Fleshlight’ for added self-gratification, you’d think they’d realise that expensive set-dressed cinematic sex is soooo-1970s. For two completely broke individuals wanting to make porn in the 21st century things couldn’t be easier or cheaper. In fact, they wouldn’t even need a camera. They could simply record a few minutes of reality-porn on a camera-phone! They even miss a trick with Miri’s granny-pants video receiving 200,000 hits less than an hour after going online. Stick some google ads on there and they’ll have no trouble paying next month’s rent bill.

“Zack and Miri Make a Porno” is crude, predictable, and made for a very distinct audience. Unlike Smith’s View Askew universe, these characters don’t have the vitality of his earlier work, and the film suffers for it.

Strange Conversation says: 3/10